NOW: AUSTIN + FMTY
Hello.
If I know you (and since you’re here maybe I already do, a little), then you’ve ended up in this little corner of the internet because you’re looking for something (or more accurately someone) to add a little je ne sais quoi, a zest, a spice to your day/evening. Well let me be the first to say: congrats! You’ve found her. Smart man - I knew I liked you.
I'm Serena, British establishment refugee, global expat with serious flair, and rebel with a cause. The cause, you ask? Never working in a windowless office again.
A late bloomer, I was forced in my deeply awkward teenage years to develop both an amazing sense of humour and a scintillating personality. Thanks to this, now in my 30s I am the total package: brains, beauty, personality, charm, and wit.
A man I met on the beach in St Tropez once said I had “a body that could stop traffic”. With a petite frame at 5’4, firm natural curves, perky 34F breasts and a bottom you could bounce a quarter off (as you say in this delightful country), I am augmentation-free, filler-free, Botox-free, and guaranteed 100% free-range.
A San Francisco Uber driver said, looking at me in the rear-view mirror as he drove me across the Bay Bridge, that I had "one of those pin-up girl faces". I have large blue-green eyes, long ash-blonde hair, and high cheekbones that had a group of Russian babushkas in Beijing once asking me in Russian if I was also Russian (not even one iota but I was flattered). My sweet and friendly expression, which belies my extremely sharp and filthy mind, incites strangers to talk to me on planes and come up and ask me for directions. I do hate that I have to blur my face for discretion because it’s personally my favourite feature.
Some more things you may find interesting about me:
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I was born in a small town in rural northern France, but was raised in London (England, not Ohio), which is why New York feels so comfortable to me every time I go there
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I went to a very expensive private girls’ boarding school in the UK which completely failed to make a proper young lady out of me (evidently)
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I speak four languages to varying degrees of fluency (two to bilingual fluency, two conversationally) and can order a glass of wine in seven
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I have a Master's degree in a pretty esoteric subject - guess which
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I'm a bad liar but a fantastic kisser
I combine a British sophistication and polish with the openness and warmth of my adopted America. If you believe in Myers-Briggs (just astrology for boys? Controversial opinion I know, let's discuss), I'm an ENFJ-T, which is pretty bang on the money. I'm a born people-person, thrive off the energy of meeting new friends, and have a deep dislike of the mundane. Bring on the left-field, the weird, the interesting, the intellectually stimulating, the trysts with strangers in very expensive hotel rooms...
Even if you're shy, I guarantee that within half an hour of meeting me any nervousness will completely dissipate and you’ll feel like we’re old friends.
If you have a cynical heart - and in times as interesting as these, I honestly don’t blame you - prepare to have it melted.
Here's to our adventure.
xo,
Serena Lang.
In Brief.
age 30s
education undergrad, master's, half a phD, all at top 10 schools in Europe
languages 4 (2 fluent, 2 conversational)
height 5'4
measurements 34F-28-40, toned natural hourglass
hair light ash blonde, to mid-back
eyes blue-green
sexual orientation actually bisexual
piercings earlobes only
tattoos, enhancements, fillers, botox, etc none
My Favourite
place abroad: rome, tokyo;
domestically: nyc, sausalito
night out speakeasy-hopping in hong kong
hobbies furniture restoration; reading novels while eating crunchy snacks; hiking the back country
ALBUM rumours - fleetwood mac
artist david hockney
FILM in the mood for love - wong kar wai
Wine domaine vacheron sancerre "l'enclos des remparts"
spirit hendricks' gin
cocktail extra dirty gin martini with olives
snack salt & vinegar crisps, dark chocolate with raspberry
DESIGNER valentino, chanel
SCENT dior j'adore or le labo rose 31 by by day, chanel noir by night
LINGERIE studio pia, bordelle
animal cats
You'll Find Me
sipping the perfect dirty gin martini in a dimly lit hotel bar
reading literary fiction or cheap thrillers in a comfy chair by a window
Cycling around Austin on my bike with a basket, or in Northern California on my road bike
Running beside bodies of water early in the morning
sailing in the Bay or in Amalfi (I'm learning!)
DANCING to 80s tunes like everyone’s watching
singing karaoke in front of the largest audience possible or in a private booth
checking my horoscope but not taking it seriously at all
making things with my hands or corny jokes
